In melancholy mood, for reasons none but causes a plenty, plentiful I.
Learning French part-time, settling into a routine life !
Unwandering, I stand by shores,
Awaken, I await my oars
To steer life by commands
Of all, that my soul demands !
At loss of words, as dear delusions erode
In despondents' war, derision will corrode
I would love to add my five cents to philosophy, and the knowledge about karma. Since it has been attempted well at advaita, I won't duplicate further. If we are all running towards attaining naishkarmya (state of being actionlessness - attaining mukti), and are looking to evade the viscious cycle of actions and reactions, (karma and karma-phala), then my dormancy is well justified :) .. While trying to be dormant, I am trying not to act. Thus, letting time take over me. Am I attaining salvation through short-cuts ?
Jokes apart, there is a different meaning to naishkarmya. One has to fulfill all the lawful duties of the body, society and the supremem power (i..e,soul). This is referred to as karma-yoga. Once a person attains karma yoga, salvation is duly blesssed when one exhibits inactivity, tapasya and bhakti. Attaining karma-yoga is every individual's dharma.
There lies the catch, dispossession and actionless presence, take one, closer to God. But he wouldn't accept you before you fulfill your assigned duties either. While expending your duties, if you did slip off your track, salvation walks farther away from you. Indeed, it is a great feat in itself, to attain salvation.
Caught between the understanding of karma and dharma, I wander, in search of the ultimate truth, awaiting death, expecting salvation and expending a dutiful life. At times as this, I can only sing this to myself, "punarapi jananam, punarapi maranam!" .. verse off Bhajagovindam
Leaving it incomplete and unspoken, for my duty at work, invites me to my karma !
P.S - I quit drinking, a few months ago, so this ain't hangover math!
June 23rd' Happy Birthday Eyoks !
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Materialism and Unconditional love
Gluttoning across the table with my best friend around, is all I do, when I am in company of extreme emotions, trying to laugh it away in anything less than alcohol fervor, yes, the ice cream mania solves it all... barely managed 500 ml of ice cream today, seemed heavy against triple its volume that I can normally beat my stomach upto... !
Undigressing, I know am solitaire this hour, in company of myself, after a long time, thinking aloud, explaining to myself, all the unanswered questions being nocturn !
Materialism believes "matter is the only reality", and unconditional, means unrestricted and boundless according to Oxford and Webster.
Now, what do they mean to me? Every action word has its own protocols, Am only trying to find my vertices within the large scope of languages. In short, taking the easy way out.
Is it humanly possible ot love someone unconditionally? in this materialistic world? may be yes and may be not... I too say, and feel as well, yet, the word "want" magnifies the hypocrite in me. (m listening to this song now.. ) .. Wanting from / of the other is a double edged sword, in a relationship that epitomises togetherness, intimacy and dependence ... When someone says "I love you", it means that they wish., and are sincerely trying to unlearn themselves to love you unconditionally. Successful at times and not so sometimes. Expecting this in action, in its entirety, is the first mistake people do. I know for sure that actions are stronger expressions than mere words, but shredding the material world and walking into boundless love does take time.
Music changed to Sudie's favorite, just one of everything I like about him and his likes.
Undigressing, I know am solitaire this hour, in company of myself, after a long time, thinking aloud, explaining to myself, all the unanswered questions being nocturn !
Materialism believes "matter is the only reality", and unconditional, means unrestricted and boundless according to Oxford and Webster.
Now, what do they mean to me? Every action word has its own protocols, Am only trying to find my vertices within the large scope of languages. In short, taking the easy way out.
Is it humanly possible ot love someone unconditionally? in this materialistic world? may be yes and may be not... I too say, and feel as well, yet, the word "want" magnifies the hypocrite in me. (m listening to this song now.. ) .. Wanting from / of the other is a double edged sword, in a relationship that epitomises togetherness, intimacy and dependence ... When someone says "I love you", it means that they wish., and are sincerely trying to unlearn themselves to love you unconditionally. Successful at times and not so sometimes. Expecting this in action, in its entirety, is the first mistake people do. I know for sure that actions are stronger expressions than mere words, but shredding the material world and walking into boundless love does take time.
Music changed to Sudie's favorite, just one of everything I like about him and his likes.
Rambling !
Expectations management is fun. I remember having attended the character pattern making class a few years ago.. they told me i am a task master and focus too much on tasks.. list making, and sticking to the list are all that matters to such men and women.. who lose sight of emoitions and care for people, while looking for data :P whatte fun daar ji ! but my lists always remained incomplete and unfinished !
Friday, January 23, 2009
Stargazing artisan, am I !
Every letter in here should be kept off eyes of pervert.. try crackin’ this, and I know ;)
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Too fast may be too furious
How can accidents and I be so inseparable? A bulged eye, after the stair-fall. I did not realise the pain it could cause. Managing to read, rather reading more, to ensure that my eyes are in good form.
Guess I haven't gone eccentric yet, with the big bang on my head. People were even making fun of me, asking for the enlightenment note. Hence, to justify, being the good old victim of great times, this blog won't find posts quite until am ready to look into bright objects for long enough. Since, work gives ample opportunity to do so everyday, I better be off this white board. Enjoyed the management training days, immersed in classrooms (definitely sleeping :P )
Paranoid mom, started on a temple routine, as usual, it was Trichy, Tirupathi and Kancheevaram. I guess these rounds are off. Managed to sneak time off the Trichy trip, to attend Balajee's wedding.
Being free of mobile phones, is another relief. My mom warrants custody of my phone, since I have not been able to fulfill simple procedures at BSNL, when we shifted to our new home :P She was absolutely irritated the very first week, with the number of "responsibility" calls on my mobile phone! She came close to me, and said, "I think i need to do something child, This is not the level of stress children go through at your age (mind it.. she said children.. "she" did, and not me). She really did the trick, of being my personal telephone assistant. She is still. I managed to buy a phone and a new phone number. Hope to share it with friends, once activated. Glad, mom learnt to use a mobile phone !
So if you do / did want to find me, I was and am still finding solace in books and sleep. Unusual times, I am sleeping for looooooooong hours. Did skip a couple of CSIM classes, but managed with the rest. But the sad part is, am still riding on weekends. Missing my sister, who'd have dropped me to my classes :(
I hate the Dollar country, for it steals many of our kith and kin, for the rude showcase of power it bears. But this is what is required, when the body keeps asking for rest & vacation, often sidelined for more burn-outs of life.
Guess I haven't gone eccentric yet, with the big bang on my head. People were even making fun of me, asking for the enlightenment note. Hence, to justify, being the good old victim of great times, this blog won't find posts quite until am ready to look into bright objects for long enough. Since, work gives ample opportunity to do so everyday, I better be off this white board. Enjoyed the management training days, immersed in classrooms (definitely sleeping :P )
Paranoid mom, started on a temple routine, as usual, it was Trichy, Tirupathi and Kancheevaram. I guess these rounds are off. Managed to sneak time off the Trichy trip, to attend Balajee's wedding.
Being free of mobile phones, is another relief. My mom warrants custody of my phone, since I have not been able to fulfill simple procedures at BSNL, when we shifted to our new home :P She was absolutely irritated the very first week, with the number of "responsibility" calls on my mobile phone! She came close to me, and said, "I think i need to do something child, This is not the level of stress children go through at your age (mind it.. she said children.. "she" did, and not me). She really did the trick, of being my personal telephone assistant. She is still. I managed to buy a phone and a new phone number. Hope to share it with friends, once activated. Glad, mom learnt to use a mobile phone !
So if you do / did want to find me, I was and am still finding solace in books and sleep. Unusual times, I am sleeping for looooooooong hours. Did skip a couple of CSIM classes, but managed with the rest. But the sad part is, am still riding on weekends. Missing my sister, who'd have dropped me to my classes :(
I hate the Dollar country, for it steals many of our kith and kin, for the rude showcase of power it bears. But this is what is required, when the body keeps asking for rest & vacation, often sidelined for more burn-outs of life.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Interesting finds !
Wow ! this favorite man of mine, blogs too ! But missing odakutthar mutt concert on Aug 14 was definitely a sin :(
So, here is RASIKA.ORG for those who want a global calendar of carnatic music events, filling in for the gaps on EVENTS BANGALORE. I wish I could have a single link for rock, ghazal, metal and carnatic music on the same page. Never mind, let me try to put one together :)
V V BAD DAY @ WORK ! Ti SuKx ! But that didn't stop me from reading poems and getting drenched in rain at chai break :) I read Annabel-lee :) This one is simple, yet a beautiful verse.
Unforgotten English - Syntax and semantics
- Bad luck, and I are best friends forever - Ironically, there is none called bad luck. Luck can only go sick, but not bad :) It is either luck or ILL-LUCK.. theegache? :)
Thoughts -
There is beauty in simplicity, and, this joy is forever truly!
Diffidence Vs confidence, another good tree talk gyan on ToI.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Core responsibilities - Being the elder !
Core responsibilities - very important for an elder child in the family. Unsure how letting go of things, comes so naturally to the sincere ones. I pity a great lot, who do not get to experience this umbilical relationship with the elder sibling, which includes me :( too!
Despite of being an elder one, some merely grab the advantage of being the first at the signal. The early bird advantage is so difficult to resist. But all one has to do is, remember, that "I, the elder can survive any where, irrespective of when I start, let me watch and give a chance to my kin". Remember - "social responsibilities and giving, begins at home !"
The elder one, is always considered next to the father. To rise and pull-up the family along, is a natural responsibility. Some, smart and capable indivuduals of the rest of the family, make their way much higher than aimed at, adding to the buoyancy of the elder's support. Some of these, need the support and guidance. Some of these, just need to be let free, and like eagles they shall soar high, when they're lighter and free of burden. All it needs is time, that can only be given by the elder sibling, by taking a step back and letting the little ones try their flight without a plight.
All those who disagreed with me, at a heated argument this evening, at office, on this topic, following the trail of conversation about inhibitions of a relocation, were all elder siblings, who have been much more than I describe for an elder. Being a female, doesn't change equations or feelings or emotions or the need of the hour.
A man, to me is the strongest individual in the herd. One, who can shoulder responsibilities, think ahead of future; secures and safeguards everyone's interests, integrity and dignity, Trying to be better for others, always, selflessly! Hence, I am, and have nothing to be unspaken on that bitter / mal-corporate behaviour :) !
Thoughts for the day -
1. When established Protocols don't function, isn't it the implementation team's fault, or, is it the inability of the O/S?
2. With Great power, comes greater responsibility
3. Freedom means responsibility.
Despite of being an elder one, some merely grab the advantage of being the first at the signal. The early bird advantage is so difficult to resist. But all one has to do is, remember, that "I, the elder can survive any where, irrespective of when I start, let me watch and give a chance to my kin". Remember - "social responsibilities and giving, begins at home !"
The elder one, is always considered next to the father. To rise and pull-up the family along, is a natural responsibility. Some, smart and capable indivuduals of the rest of the family, make their way much higher than aimed at, adding to the buoyancy of the elder's support. Some of these, need the support and guidance. Some of these, just need to be let free, and like eagles they shall soar high, when they're lighter and free of burden. All it needs is time, that can only be given by the elder sibling, by taking a step back and letting the little ones try their flight without a plight.
All those who disagreed with me, at a heated argument this evening, at office, on this topic, following the trail of conversation about inhibitions of a relocation, were all elder siblings, who have been much more than I describe for an elder. Being a female, doesn't change equations or feelings or emotions or the need of the hour.
A man, to me is the strongest individual in the herd. One, who can shoulder responsibilities, think ahead of future; secures and safeguards everyone's interests, integrity and dignity, Trying to be better for others, always, selflessly! Hence, I am, and have nothing to be unspaken on that bitter / mal-corporate behaviour :) !
Thoughts for the day -
1. When established Protocols don't function, isn't it the implementation team's fault, or, is it the inability of the O/S?
2. With Great power, comes greater responsibility
3. Freedom means responsibility.
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