In a view such, I went so nuts

I saw those trees and clouds atop

Unseen was all that was behind

How dare you hide from me i said,

and took to hike heading afar

Land I saw, has its bounds rewind

The same hills, the trees and birds

I thought I've seen it all around

and headed back to gaze at this view

The mountains slept within my eyes and

I looked deep into water now

I saw little fish and the waters rush

wish I swam along the fish and

spot some birds as I float on my back

I trusted not the bounds of lands

and plunged into the water routes

I stuck myself to one canoe,

Red or blue i remember not

I began to row, imagined my trail, 

was great as vasco or sindbad's

Flights of Herons, kites, and bills I saw 

all of them flew, the cormorants not

he looked over the others from a rock

as though the hermit's life, forever paused

May be, he wondered who he was

his eyes ever seemed in doubt, as if, 

i heard him ask, "am i a fish or just a bird?"

may be he was just all above

I twisted and turned in rapids little

hurt my knees and ankles a bit

Waters told me, "You ain't a sailor yet"

I let my chin down and so did the sun

We both went our ways home

and let the river sing to the moon

They seemed in love and, quiesce agreed

I drooped over my lines until the dawn.....

to wake up and gaze again in awe

unable to pen the beauty I saw...

Man and Woman, as friends

Female Vs Girl friends, and Male Vs Boy friends, an interesting, and a very sensitive topic. I had this post drafted for a while, and just thought of letting the cat out. This blog is gyan, purely perspectives and bears no semblances to incidents or characters. I have many more drafts like this, pending attention, to be edited for language and style.

Looking at the diversity of friends around me, most of them, being men, I am sure, I am eligible to bet my words on this topic.

With the trust I have, will always, and with all due respect to my male friends, I begin to write to men who want to understand their world and be better.

What women look for, in this world, is a space to grow, an opportunity to exhibit their talents, acknowledgment and encouragement for it from their peers, who have been doing it for years. An environment, which does not make them feel weak or exposed. A place where, men don't treat her as an object. A place where she is not forced to allow rubbings on their skin, as a price to be accepted as an equal. I heard, men of quality, never fear women seeking equality. Now quality is a very very large commitment to life. But not very difficult to manage. It simply is a foot away, when needed !

Every relationship grows and matures, reaches stages where friends of opposite sex begin to feel indispensable about each other just as friends of the same sex do. Some choose to make this relationship work in a marriage, while others remain as they are. Some choose to flirt safely with friends, for they are confident of bearing limits. The relationship still claims respect, for the level of trust they bear. The latter requires, maturity, bold and frank discussions about how you feel about someone, even at weak moments. It is biological, and there is nothing to feel shy about it. Both men and women must be able to accept these gracefully as compliments and should be strong enough to let go of these, laugh over these as a simple joke. This increases respect for each other. It takes trust to discuss this, a bit of courage, and definitely, values.

Some, express these subtly, and want to acknowledge, give due respects, and move towards the next level of relationship, where, love as in affection, becomes, love as in love. Beauty !! Some stand apart, turning these into admiration for the other. They never lead the other into a spree of discomfort by their bold act of friendship.

Now to the sad part, some hide this, from their friends, thinking that the other doesn't know (or) feel the vibes. So foolish, of assuming you aren't watched by your friend, who probably knows you more than you think.

Lets grow up, be open and frank, create a happier communicated and connected world :) !!

Music Concerts

Sri Rama Seva Mandali music concerts 2010. Hope this serves as valuable entertainment to music loving bangaloreans!

Materialism and Unconditional love

Gluttoning across the table with my best friend around, is all I do, when I am in company of extreme emotions, trying to laugh it away in anything less than alcohol fervor, yes, the ice cream mania solves it all... barely managed 500 ml of ice cream today, seemed heavy against triple its volume that I can normally beat my stomach upto... !

Undigressing, I know am solitaire this hour, in company of myself, after a long time, thinking aloud, explaining to myself, all the unanswered questions being nocturn !

Materialism believes "matter is the only reality", and unconditional, means unrestricted and boundless according to Oxford and Webster.

Now, what do they mean to me? Every action word has its own protocols, Am only trying to find my vertices within the large scope of languages. In short, taking the easy way out.

Is it humanly possible to love someone unconditionally, in this materialistic world? .. May be a yes, and, May be a no. I too say, and feel as well, yet, the word "want" magnifies the hypocrite in me. While i am listening to this song now..  let me continue the blabber. Wanting from / of the other, is a double edged sword, in a relationship, that epitomises togetherness, intimacy and dependence. When someone says "I love you", it means that they wish, and, are sincerely trying to unlearn themselves to love unconditionally. They are successful at times, and not so at the rest. Expecting this in action, in its entirety, is the first mistake people commit. I know for sure that actions are stronger expressions than mere words, but shredding the material world and walking into boundless love does take time, and is too difficult to hang in there. So, one should keep trying to get there and be at it. While, I am at it like every other, my music plays Sudie's favorite, one of everything I like about him.

Interesting finds !

I read Annabel-lee :) This one is simple, yet a beautiful verse.

Unforgotten English - Syntax and semantics

• Bad luck, and I are best friends forever - Ironically, there is none called bad luck. Luck can only go sick, but not bad :) It is either luck or ILL-LUCK.. theegache? :)

Thoughts -

There is beauty in simplicity, and, this joy is forever truly!

Diffidence Vs confidence, another good tree talk gyan on ToI.

Reacting to pressure - Words of Wisdom !

The restless I. The guilt of not obeying myself, and yielding to whatever is demanded of, is there any other reason to feel disgusted about?

Thought for the day - Losing self-confidence on account of an external factor, means it has eaten you by itself. But why was it allowed to, in the first place? So, see, some questions dont have an answer.

My food for thought - What is the difference between living and being alive?

Unfulfilled wants, unattended needs - Wisdom bits

Depriving of 'that', which is a need, creates individuals who are dependant on the society, unable to be their best or even themselves. Some people feel so great about depriving people of what they need. Not sure why!

Not aiding people to get what they need, is as good as depriving. I believe that we should help people rise upto their needs. It is sad to find that the need is often for love and affection, that which seems to have become the costliet. Walking into social service sector, is a great eye opener, but it commands courage and emotional strength to be able to deliver the best they deserve.

Words of wisdom - Pencil Parable from CSIM

I attended the CSIM convocation yesterday. Felt like I am doing the right thing. Listening abilities, are capabilities that seldom exist in independant thinkers, for I love to know what I think, than the others. May be, one can still call it listening ability, cos it is still all about listening to your inner voice, to yourself. But one must be groomed to listen to others as well. I have been lacking many opportunities to listen to imminent speakers / people I admire and respect. Now don't ask me, why am unable to admire one and all. The words I remember most from those lectures are here -

Words of wisdom, to a Pencil, before it is shut in a box. You have to remember 5 most important things, says the pancil maker, to this new pencil, before sending it into open market.
1. To get the best out of you, you must allow yourself to be held by others
2. Time and again, you will go through the painful process of sharpening
3. The most important part of you, is, what is within / inside you
4. You may make mistakes and it shall be erased / corrected, because you're a pencil & not a pen
5. You have to live through, or grow out of your mistakes and acknowledge them too

Another line of wisdom - Start small, invest less, grow fast, scale out and not sclae-up large.

CSIM - Initiative

Having bragged overly about all that I want to do, and start, and start, and do, and do, to work towards a social cause, and being an entrepreneur, together, I was much disappointed with myself, and the pace at which things are moving in removing dependencies. Such is the time, when I got a note form Deepak, that he shed his white collar to join Arghya, an NPO, (M not sure if I spelt it right). He was kind enough to get me introduced to CSIM, a wise step, when you are struggling to do something, and are also trying to battle with a secured life for your loved ones, which intentionally does not allow for freedom of quitting work at such an early age.

As this post comes in a hurry, I request folks to mail me in case you need nay clarifications on what this school would add to you. I met with Aruna Subramaniam, Coordinator, CSIM, Bangalore, yesterday. She can be contacted at the address / phone number given below -
Centre for Social Initiative and Management,
#418, 6th 'B' Cross,20th Main, 6th Block,
Koramangala, Bangalore 560 095
Ph. 2550 5197
The CSIM convocation for September 2007 batch is on this Saturday, 19 July 2008. The invite is here, for your convenience. This might be a good opportunity to know more, and understand the institution. Aruna tells me that there are a few more seats to fill the batch and she welcomes one and all.

Dasavatharam

One movie that created a lot of hype. Normally avoiding theaters, I rent DVDs to watch one single movie in bits & pieces over days, that's me. If such a crook were taken to a theater to watch a movie, then it better be the best. I wonder why my mom forced me to go & watch a movie this time, with her usual complaint, of me, not socialising or enjoying like others of my age do. I agreed to her, only resorting to a break from this routine stress, which never seems to diminish! .. Now to the movie..
P.S - I have only tried to take out my frustration of not being de-stressed, in the most cynical / comic way possible. If you don't like it, don't read it :P !
My expectations - I always rated Kamal for show-casing a combination of comedy, class and romance, that others often don't. None of these were seen this time. I saw desperation, restlessness to show "I can do so many things", as if he were going to die tomorrow, and this was his last movie.
Thinking for Kamal - The only justification to Mr. Kamal acting in 10 roles would be to substantiate his "Anbe Sivam" concept, "there's a hero in every human being". For all the bragging KS Ravikumar did on a TV show with Madan, this movie was absolute bsht!
Drawbacks -

1. Toooooooo looooong - 10 roles, each can sustain for 10 mins, i.e., 100 min movie and the stronger ones to story deserve 30 additional mins. Which only brings it to a 130 mins movie, seems less ? - add 2-3 songs for mass, (absolutely unnecessary though) , aka 2.5 hrs only. This movie runs for three full hours. Justified if I were glued to my seat, but i felt a thousand pins at butt after an hour. May be am just a lil too impatient as always.
2. Sin to Asin - BEAUTIFUL LADY, one can look at, for at least a few minutes, if not hours. They let her run errands. Not even one good close up / cover shot ! what a waste of time!
3. Dance - They let Jayaprada do the dance .. "Hello Madam, this is not thakida thadimi thandaana" ??!!??! "Samjhe kya ?"
4. Kamal & Punjabi - Haaye mai mar jaawaan! Tamil speaking tight tongues can never let words play loose on them. "Punjabi was stressed in between Kamal's lips" - no pun intended, but that's the only comment i could pass !
5. X factor missing - Typical Kamal pun was missing !
6. Kabilan - Great lyricist, good poet. But what was he doing in this movie? Couldn't they accommodate his talent in writing a few scenes / words for Asin?
7. How does love happen - Okay okay.. now I know everyone knows how it all happen(s/d), but why couldn't they add subtle shots / gestures during this whole chase!
8. Graphics / video game ?
9. Background score & Music - Himesh? wtfh! wouldn't Devisri/ARR/Harris/Yuvan do great?
10. Make up flaw - Fletcher's make up was melting in many scenes, esp around the eyes, watch the scene on road with
11. Too narrative - Many scenes could have been cut off, during the second half
12. Poor Comedy - But for Balram Naidu's role, the crew wouldn't have a place to hide their face
13. Atheist Kamal Vs Theism, on screen - I don't want to see him introspecting on screen, he could chose his drawing /study for that!
14. Cinematography - First 15 mins is PC Sriram, then, it is PC Sans Sriram !
15. Technical flaws - Vehicle chase.. ?? look at the cars, illogical and virtual image concept is basic physics for a camera man ain't it, the shots in many places, esp the lorry accident has virtual images in consecutive frames ?? :P
16. My sincere piece of advice - If you have 4 hours of your life, to waste, and can wait at a cinema hall waiting for a climax epilogue to end, for about 1 hour, trying hard to catch a good glimpse of Asin, go ahead !
17. Thathuvam - Spent Noota-Aravai, kai iruvai, verum aruvai!

Noota aravai means the number 160 in telugu.

Random blabber of love

In love, smitten, ye Serah, smitten Cahleb,
Of thy presence, words profuse, do ebb,
Let unheard be those, spoken
And heard be this far, unspoken
Until horizons leap, to the burning sun,
For another morning that is just as fun,
For 'Tis, a night to come and let be frail
As loved ones live a turmoil off grail
In hopes of living for maiden love in life
Dreams depart, sans love to, words of strife ...

नींव की कहानी

गुठलियाँ बोते, रासते जीवन के हैं मापने।
गठरी बाँध चली, लिए मुट्ठी भर सपने॥
खरा उतरा जो नैनों से, होने को कलमबंद,
लिखने पर बनें स्याही से, कागज़ के ही छंद।
दिखे न चाँद, न बादल, न अंधेरे मे नदिया।
हर नज़ारे को प्रकृति ने जैसे प्रेम से बुन ढोया ॥
प्रेम की छाया छाई नाचती हुयी कली-पत्तों के द्वारा ।
जैसे पिय से मिलने, हवाओं का लिया सहारा॥
धरा की चुम्बन को हर डाली है तरसे।
मुडा हुआ तन, मटका है, फ़िर से,
झुकी-झुकी सी अम्बुआ की तरु
कहती, "कुदरत से नयन मैं बचाते हरून!"
नींव से गांठ बंधा यह रिश्ता परखने
आए बरसने यह गरजते बादल भी घने
न माने जहाँ इस प्रेम को पावस
कुदरत भी इतराके कहे इसे हवस
बिछड़ने निकले चीर ज़मीन की छाती
सीना ताने हुए खड़े, हम पेड़ और साथी
न तरु धरती से मिल पावे, न आसमान छुआ जावे
नींव और तरु की कहानी कहे, प्रेमी बिछड़ न जावे
सूनी हवाओं की ज़बानी, सुनो नींव की कहानी
कहे कभी ममता की छाँव, खोते नहीं हैं धानी

Words of wisdom from John Keats

"I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for religion—I have shuddered at it. I shudder no more—I could be martyred for my religion—Love is my religion—I could die for that."

John Keats (1795-1821), British poet. letter, Oct. 13, 1819, to his fiancée Fanny Brawne.

Morning music !

I was so tempted to listen to this number by Backstreet boys "So let me show you the shape of my heart".

CRY News !!

School Yesterday

School Today

Manesh, is prompt in sending these cut outs. Also a side effect of RTI. Media pressure brings on the world to its feet of action. But one must admit, that we / the media is getting better at identifying problems, sufferers and victims. What we need is a solution and action. No one wants to hear a sad news / bad news. News now only remains to mean sensational. People want to hear about success. To make these news items turn around and act, I think we need to do our bit as well. These snaps really tie me back to try using RTI.

 

For the benefit of our group, I would like to recall my recent introduction to a group called AID in the US (group of Indians) and their efforts to understand RTI. The reason to mention this was the question "When people remotely placed are able to see the weapon in our hands, Why should we miss out on using this ?"

I was tempted to react to Snehendu - I completely empathise with him and understand that it was sheer agony reflecting, not only in his words, but in every individual's voice, "on why media is not all that responsible". But we merely bragging about the problem probably is not the solution. If one thinks we need to do something about a problem, then we must discuss & solve. I personally feel we all carry our bit of responsibility and need to do something. Some support / participation will help. If not the media, I guess we can all do something.

 

Under this specific event, a) By filing an RTI against the school b) Try to find about the norms under which schools are given permissions c) Number of schools who have violated this and d) Actions taken against them

Dependency on media is not going to help us much, unless we do our bit. We can probably write about the results and educate people on how they can change things, than showing one new problem everyday. Though I agree that it is the media's responsibility to support and direct the public to solve their problems, there is nothing much to do, when people don't realise their responsibilities and act on it.

Stronger of the duo, Bose & Gandhi - A Zombie's introspection !

Exercises of the mind never seem to stop. Absolutely tired me, with water gushing out of my eyes as I struggle to take this beast into control of sleep. They are not saline tears, but the result of the 7 sleepless nights which ended yesterday, and the void brain that has been depleting over the last 8 weeks of hard work. Unable to look into the monitor, yawning and rubbing eyes like kids with morning blues, it feels great to know I am not drunk, yet feels like my body is enslaved to white rum in blood. What melancholy this brings, and I don't want to miss the opportunity to forget the world alike, and become the poet. That poet who rarely existed after March'07 for all reasons good to believe.
In no order, I recollect Victor Hugo's words - "People do not lack strength, they lack will !" and Mr.M.K.Gandhi quoting, "If your heart acquires strength, you will be able to remove blemishes from others without thinking evil of them".
What Irony, I was thinking about my favorite leader SC Bose which triggered all this here. The fact that Gandhi(ji) was a reason to make him appear a failure in history, while Gandhi(ji) reaped all the fruits of "British hatred" against Bose, always hurt me. The question that drive this exchange is, "who was stronger ?". Both indeed were. Tolerance and courage, are two sides of the same coin named strength, akin to the concept of "the victim and the player". Some one's concept which has taken deep roots into me. One can very simply derive this from the words "Karta" and "Kaaran" from Bhagavatam, than following this wild-west concept. I will not debate much about that yet. Tolerance is a virtue, for, someone said to me, that, being a victim is the easiest to do. So true ! According to me, what differentiates tolerance and the victim spirit, is the vision and the end objective.
Going back to Gandhi(ji) and Bose, both men carried an impulse, the end goal was same. Bose's impulse faded for lack of sympathy of people. It is indeed a smart move for Gandhi(ji), to follow ahimsa, and non-violence. But the vision and the picture which drive this impulse, have to be made clear to people, to win the sympathy. Which is what Gandhi(ji) did. Both men had the same impulse, both opted to die for the Nation, both needed followers. But people also chose, to follow to their convenience. Gandhi(ji) chose death, with more options (Pain or life or death or humility), while Bose would always land up into 2 choices (Life or death). People were only clear about the choices available to them beyond life and death. Selfishness pays off ! But the biggest proof of similarity in these two men, is Gandhi(ji)'s slogan "Karo ya Maro", which came from the former, the ideal reflection of the latter's state of mind. If this was truly interpreted and some tolerance was showered on people who chose to follow Gandhi(ji), but do things differently, I would not have felt that Gandhi(ji) digressed from obvious points of speech. He did not fight for his fellow men blindly, but he fought for his ideologies and dreams about his fellow men. Often feels like "My way or highway". Exhibiting tolerance and the ability to see people without blemishes, would have been clear to me, if I read Veer Bhagat Singh and not Shaheed Bhagat Singh in history. It would have also meant INA as security at Dandi March and Jallian wala bagh ! The difference between these two men, is the way they handled things. One was a complicated man like the "offer subject to terms and conditions", while the other was a plain offer. Customer centrist played there as well.
Dhananjay told this to me, "Certain good things need marketing" in a different context though. But I realised the fact that SC Bose needed it too. I love both these men, for they succeeded in what they wanted to do, one was a catalyst aiding Gandhi, with the hatred & fear he instilled in the British, who ran to the non-violent mass. Both I feel, acted like Dominique and Roark in of fountain head. Each neither able to hate the other, nor able to admit the fact that they want the same things, done differently ! Opposition was support they best offered to each other ! The answer to the question of "stronger who ?", lies in the fact that one still gave away the place in history, for the other to bear the torch, without any complaints or confrontations.
When I say Bose, I am so close to him, the uncommonly common man, and am not forced to say Boseji, but when I say Gandhi, I am forced to see either the Mahatma or Ji behind it ! Such a frail government we have, who is so unjust to the leader, who gave us the Army, so vital to our nation and the only reason we still are an independent nation, and not a bunch of colonies ! Both deserve their due respects, but I don't want to distance myself from Bose. Like Keats, Darwin and Einstein, Bose will be with me !

TDI - Absolutely Awesome !

Eight Daze - I am in love with this and have literally been drooling! I too will buy a TDI someday, if not an Audi, definitely an Indica form Tata Motors is possible :P (no comparisons please :o) )

Mon Chere Amie !!

Think about this - "The solution to all problems is just the birth of a new one". Call it an opportunity !

Brain quote - Are we all in pursuit of drawing greater lines against our greatest lines, just to make ourselves look better ?
 

Fossil is the first non-titan, non-hmt brand I am wearing, it is a gift from Kadups. Despite the fact that I don't like gifts, he sent me one. To be frank, I felt annoyed first, but felt cared later on. It did feel happy, but gifts and favours feel too heavy. I only want to give and see people smiling.

Now I have to become rational that others can think of giving to me as well !

To be frank, a greeting or just a pen would have done the same effect ! I just realised how ruthless I can be with Amar and Gokul. I never hesitate to flick anything or ask for a favour without bothering to return it.

Am a selfish brat with them. After all, they are the best I have ! I didn't even bother to thank Kadups, that increases the propensity to include him in the list. Shameless in deed ??

And here I am bragging about my friends :)

How much I show off my blackberry and the watch to folks, is just amazing. Another master piece is the broken wall clock, designed and handmade by Sat. It hangs in my hall to make our house seem a little old enough. But thats what I love about it, I show it off to every visitor who has a question about why it is there amidst the perfect & human things, and then I explain beamingly, and show off Sat's paintings :)

People now see me wearing a watch, and ask me "Oh you too started wearing one?"

The real reaason behind not wearing one, is the loss of 4 to my habit of removing my watch just anywhere and most importantly, forget it to my convenience. May be my wrists are so very delicate to bear a watch ;).

But everytime I look at my watch for the time, I say, its my friend's gift, and, everytime I have a black berry, people know Amar :)

My life is all about my friends, and the pride I take in them.
For, they make me so strong and bold.

Then here I am, daring to do just about anything,
to live upto my integrity and standing for the right.

The chaos that work has done to me, for reasons so obvious and those away from the blog is immense.

 

Missing Brad, the brother brat whom I could speak just about anything !

 

The last dance on the farewell party reminded me something that I could only do it with him :)

 

My perfect Michael Jackson partner :) Thanks to George to pulled me off the couch, atleast 5 times to break my own vows of not being bad to my back. Truly Mon chere Amie !

 

God blessed me with so many friends, who just let me be myself !

 

Now, may God bless them with happiness countless forever !!

Laze et Craze !!

Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool and Arsenal teams in the drawing room !!

No one to switch over to TV serials either :)

Doing nothing may be stressful too !!

I want to retire in another 6 months :P

Watched Vineet Nayar on TV, see this is how the idiot box can fill your life. My manager must be thinking that I am off to some mischief. Corporate life is getting a little sluggish and always accompanies boredome with it !

CRY - Right to Food; and BSNL in my life !!!

Finally on internet !! After 9 complaints at 1500, and over 20 calls to the Div Engineer, here I am successfully back to the talking world. My efforts of getting things done from one place went futile :(

While I am still recovering from the painful life, checklists don't seem to be diminishing, but it all seems to be moving !

Brain quote - That which is done has nothing to be undone, but what is right is not right to the wrong and the wrong is not wrong always !

Responsibility - I enrolled as a volunteer at CRY, who impressed me greatly post their change in outlook from Relief to Rights in their CRY. We are currently working on mobilizing and aiding people to ensure that the anganwadis scheme run by the Govt are being run properly. But the Govt is trying to privatise this effort by letting third parties into it. Please read the actual NEWS that appeared in HINDU about this. Though I am not physically mobile, I want to help this movement as much as possible by collecting people's views which will later be used as part of RTI applications / survey results.

I have been listening to mixed views. PLEASE comment on the same !!

My thoughts - When the Govt has RTI, the people still have a hold, the RTI cannot be enforced on III Parties, its just another loop hole / idea to still be corrupted. One more layer added to CNF (Corrupted Network Force)
1. May be it is also possible that a few genuine bodies may do better than the Govt. !
2. It really may not be possible for the Govt. to manage w/o proper network / infrastructure / funds.
3. It may be just fine to limit ourselves to ensure that the Govt enforces adequate rules / makes provision for direct supervision under RTI to get things going. Publishing these list of centers to interested parties periodically, may be mandated as well.